16 November 2011.

Everything I could never tell you;

It's been a long time since i ever blogged about anything, about my life, what I've been going through. Nothing special really. It's been the same old, confused me. Never thought that forgetting about you will be easy. It's just so hard. I will never ever know what you are thinking. Not even last time, now, or even in the future. What is this world becoming anyway? Everything is just getting so confusing and complicated. I really wish everything will just go back to what it was before, but i know that it will never ever happen. All i can just do is just wait and just hope that everything will be alright, even if it doesn't seem like it will. I do read your texts once in awhile. Sometimes, I even cry myself to sleep. I missed everything that we had. I miss texting you. I miss talking to you. I miss every single week, day hour, minute, second talking to you, seeing you, texting you. How i wish i can text you once again. But nah, that will never happen. I miss you, i really do. It's been almost half a year since we actually had a real conversation. Please text me soon?

20th October 2011.

Hello once again. Long time since I have blogged! Hehehe. I had a really enjoyable birthday yesterday! :) Whole clique went to sentosa! :D. Whooooooo, it was a blast. Played with the sand, games, ran around like crazy, Indian poker practically everything with was fun! Tiffy gave me a stitch for my birthday! Oh yeay :) Stitch is cool shit man heheh. Then the rest got me a really cool... LARVA LAMP! Omg it must have cost like a bomb! It's looks really pretty when it's lighted up and all the chemical stuffs and how it blooped up! Oh I am so damn happy! :) Next time all of us should save money and go to USS! :)

Okay, hi. Woah for not using the computer for like 931287309127397937 years. No actually hehe. So life without you; It was amazinglyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy OKAY. Omg can't believe i typed that out. IT WAS REALLY OKAY. LIKE SERIOUSLY. Well, at first i thought that i won't get used to a single shit, but i started to realise that i didn't of you as often as before (even though im kinda like thinking of you as i type this out heh), which is kinda good i think. I really do miss you though, :/. I see that you're online right now. I know you won't see this but oh well, just wanted to wish you good luck for your common test (: All the best. I really missed the times in the first semester. I did take some moment for granted, but it's all too late already. Oh well, listening to in your arms by the maine! <3 It's a really nice song! Okay, shall go do some editing to my blog template now! It's been a long time since i've edited it!

Finally back to blogging after a few months! Wow, time passes really quickly and it's officially term 3 now. So life hasn't been good for me now. It's even worse than expected.Ever since i came back from church camp, everything hasn't been going like it used to be. Why? I found out during church camp that you used to like me. USED TO. That's might be the happiest thing to knowthat your crush liked you back but it's used to, not still do. Heart breaking issue i swear. Devasated after reading her messages. I was happy at fist but when i realise that he didn't anymore, i really didn't know what to say. I was totally lost for words. At first i didn't believe it. but then when i came back to Singapore, everything started to change. The goodnight texts were gone. The swet.conversations were all gone. If only she told me earlier that you liked me back then. I didn't really treasure the moment that i had texting you. Now, we hardly text. Well actually, we don't. I think about every now and then, thinking to myself: "Why must this happen to me?" Life is just so unfair. I just got to accept the fact that i'm not.that important to you like before. And now i don't even know whether i still like you or not. I have been trying to let go of you but i just can't. It is so very hard. You just don't know how much i think about you everyday. I miss the way we used to be. i miss every single moment we had texting each other day after day. People tell me to let go of you, but they obviously don't know how much i've tried to. I just got to move on with life. People change and feelings change. I just got to learn to accept that and everything will be alright i guess. I just want to thank you for being an important person in my life and i will never foget evey moment i had with you.

Hey. Woah, it's been a really long time since I've blogged. It's the year 2011.  My life is not happening  like i want it to. Sec 3 is a really a tough year for me. So many subjects and cca to cope with. SYF just passed like a month ago. We achieved a GWH. I never thought that we will even have a chance to get GWH. Oh well, seniors left to prepare for o levels. I really wonder how we can manage to survive without them. Is it even possible? 
Now, about church. Yes, let's just face it. I like you, ALOT. Well, more than you can ever imagine or think of. I've been texting you for like half a year maybe? Sigh, i really want to know what i am in your perspective. It never came across my mind that I'll end up texting for such a long time now. You're always giving me false hopes, and worst of all, awkward conversations. I think we've talked about everything that we can possibly think of talking about. I love the way you say goodnight to me almost everyday. I love it when it is obvious that you are showing your concern for me. I save all my messages from you, but deleted some one word replies. Please don't do that. It's really hard for me to start the conversation. I wish that you'll like me back. I really hope that you will. It's been 1 year and 4 months that I've liked you already. Sigh. How i wish, i really wish. So please do come true. I love it when you give me unexpected texts. I love it when you cheer me up when i'm feeling down, even though i can tell that you don't really know how to cheer me up, but i know that you're trying. I'm really sorry for always thinking that you're the only person that i can only look up to. I'm so sorry. Not that i don't, but i think that i'm getting too dependent on you. Well, this is my personal thought so yeah. Every time when i'm texting you, i will always have the feeling that in some way or another, i'm annoying you. Well, every girl will think that way. It is just so awkward when i see you face to face. Not sure if it's because i'm from a girls school that's why i feel this way, but yeah. I often see you peeping at me sometimes. It's just awkward when we make eye contact. I don't want it to be so awkward anymore. It's just not right. 
She told me that she have the feeling that you like someone. I trust her fully because she has been childhood friends with you. And this makes me have the assurance that she's right about what you are feeling. I cried like a mad shit that day, May 15, Sunday. How could i ever forget? I didn't even make sure that it's true. It felt as if i have been knocked down by a bus repeatedly. It just hurts so very much. Cell bonding is coming up next. I hope that everything will turn out fine. No other problems or anything awkward. I really can't wait for you to give me the sticky. Sigh, i really love you that (: 
Anyway, even you're not gonna be seeing this, i want to tell you that you've been one of my greatest friends  that I've ever had. Even if we don;t know about our future, i hope we'll still be great friends. Thank you in any way i can possibly thank you for (:  
Have great year ahead! (:

It's really been a long time since I have last blogged. It's the second last week of May. I got back most of my results today and yesterday. Screwed everything up. God dammit, depression really. 2011 sucks to the core. Idk, everything i expect it to be is not turning out the way i want it to be. Even now, you're ignoring me, you go offline. Like what man. FML MAN, TOTALLY. Now you're back online, are you like avoiding me or something? UGH I HATE LIFE NOW. I'll most prolly retain or something. Fuck man, like seriously. School sucks. No mood for anything.

Ily . :)

Suppp . TEEHEE . It's the second day of cny ! :) Got a lot of money the past few days :D . Hooray :) . Gakakakaka . But it was super tiring and boring though . Was texting the entire time . Haha . Then my mom scolded me . But who cares . Ahaha . So anyway , I got a lot of money . I didn't really count but it should be above 500 bucks ? Idk shall go count soon :) . Today was uhhhh okay ? Had piano . Wheeeeee . I got full marks for one paper :D . Damn happy . Haha :) . Then went to church for duty . Aloysius didn't come . Idk why , so I had to duty on my own with Beatrice . Thank god Jillian was doing lightings , if not I'll be like some loner . AGAIN and that sucks . So Beatrice did the songs and I did the PowerPoint slides . Yeaaap . Then went for cell . Makan like mad . There were so much food . Haha . Oh yes , I just remembered that I left my lays there . HAHA I rushed off and forgot to take . Oops . Who cares , someone must have kept it for next week i guess :) . That kind soul . HAHA okay that sounded weird . Nvm . Haha . So yeah left at 6.30 sharp . Left for my grandma's house for dinner . And then friend's house which I ended up not going -.- . So yeah sucks luh walao eh . I wanna watch my drama series kkkkkkkkk . Walao eh . Tsk . I don't care I'm going there next weekkkk . WHOOHOO . Whatever lol . Uhhh , I'm waiting for smses to come in again . Haha , bored much aye :) . Teehee . YEY TMR IS SUNDAY AND I FINALLY DON'T HAVE TO GO TO SINGPOST YEY YEY YEY . That horribly boring ass place . HAHA oops . Okay bye . Haha .

Ily . :)

Suppp . TEEHEE . It's the second day of cny ! :) Got a lot of money the past few days :D . Hooray :) . Gakakakaka . But it was super tiring and boring though . Was texting the entire time . Haha . Then my mom scolded me . But who cares . Ahaha . So anyway , I got a lot of money . I didn't really count but it should be above 500 bucks ? Idk shall go count soon :) . Today was uhhhh okay ? Had piano . Wheeeeee . I got full marks for one paper :D . Damn happy . Haha :) . Then went to church for duty . Aloysius didn't come . Idk why , so I had to duty on my own with Beatrice . Thank god Jillian was doing lightings , if not I'll be like some loner . AGAIN and that sucks . So Beatrice did the songs and I did the PowerPoint slides . Yeaaap . Then went for cell . Makan like mad . There were so much food . Haha . Oh yes , I just remembered that I left my lays there . HAHA I rushed off and forgot to take . Oops . Who cares , someone must have kept it for next week i guess :) . That kind soul . HAHA okay that sounded weird . Nvm . Haha . So yeah left at 6.30 sharp . Left for my grandma's house for dinner . And then friend's house which I ended up not going -.- . So yeah sucks luh walao eh . I wanna watch my drama series kkkkkkkkk . Walao eh . Tsk . I don't care I'm going there next weekkkk . WHOOHOO . Whatever lol . Uhhh , I'm waiting for smses to come in again . Haha , bored much aye :) . Teehee . YEY TMR IS SUNDAY AND I FINALLY DON'T HAVE TO GO TO SINGPOST YEY YEY YEY . That horribly boring ass place . HAHA oops . Okay bye . Haha .

Falling stars .

Teehee hi . TRYING TO KEEP MY BOG UPDATED HERE . It's like seriously dead . Gosh , this shows how busy i am . AHAHA . Joke i'm actually okay and coping well in school . It's a Monday , dread going to school on the first day of the week , especially after one week without lessons ! It was super cold in school cannnnnnn , freezing like shit . Even in the classroom kkkk . Walao , need to bring hoodie tmr :) Wheeeee . I never once in my life brought any jacket or whatever to school before . Shall make it the first tmr :) Heeeeee . Stupid uh , still need to go to school on Wednesday for LESSONS . Like wth , its cny eve ley . But not fair uh , lowwer sec have celebration shit so can pon and stuff . HAHAHA . But upper sec got lesson per usual until like 11.05 . Assssssss . Walao . If no lessons , i can pon lorh . Hahaha , i should seriously stop skipping lessons/classes/ccas . HAHAHA , awesome . Anyway , y partner didn't cme to school today . DITCHER . Make me sit alone again . So pek chek k . FOR LIKE THE ENTIRE DAY I HAVE TO SIT ALONE . Like loner can -.- But it's like damn weird with her anyway . AHAHA oops . Kkkkk , shall continue to download songs now :) .

Okay bored , so decided to say some stuff here . But I don't think you will give a shit to come look . Whatever .
I'd never thought that you'll change so much , yet you still did . You're so contradicting , so seriously you should stop doing that . It's giving me totally wrong impressions . It annoying . And wtf , trying to avoid me ? I'm not stupid okay , I was just playing along . ALL ALONG . You think I'm that dumb to not realise uh . I can tell by all your reactions . You are totally different than before . I know you're gonna pop by anyway . Stalker . I can read your body language k , learnt how to . So stop hiding stuff from me . I really wanna throw rocks at you . But yet I'm being nice here trying to control k . Stop doing things that will make me blow up in you're face . I'm totally willing to do that . Anytime . I'm really controlling , please don't test my patience . Just stop making things difficult okay , it's tough for me as well as you . Just stop shit you're doing to people and I'll forget about it . Get a lifeeee :) .

#300111 .

Hell yeah hi . I seriously hate cny , except the part where I get money cause I'm so broke right now . About yesterday , Chinese tuition > piano > lunch > Kovan > Church > Cousin's house > dinner > home . Freaking hectic . Tuition was okay i guess ? Piano I got 98 for like one paper . Okay whatever I had to stay back again . Feeling kinda nervous , exam is in like a month and a week . Then dad drove me to Kovan . Went to popular . Meeting Timothy and barny to get the notebook for cell . Met Eunice and Felicia at the bus stop otw . Intended to take bus , but had to wait for 7 mins so we decided to walk to church . It was like 4.05 , late . Oh well , then it started to pour . All of us chiong like siao . Got caught in the rain anyway . Barny lend us the umbrella though so we didn't exactly get that wet but we were STILL wet . Reached church , damn cold can . Freezing the hell outta me . After church , rushed to cousin's house for reunion dinner . Super boring can , like seriously . Was dying to go home . Blasted music when I reached home , again . Slept at about 12 plus ? Then today was equally boring . I hate Sundays luh k . Every time also go to singpost , boring shit . It's even worse than having exams or studying . But luckily there won't be any tuition due to cny . HOORAY . I'm so sick of tuitions . I wonder if there is school this coming wednesday . Oh well , I feel like throwing my phone in the cupboard and leaving it there until idk when . But I think I'll take it out sooner or later . Haha :x . Oh bother . Blogging from iPod is so much easier and faster . K bye , not in the mood ..

                            

Hahaha , it's been a long time since i've ever uploaded 2010 pictures ! :D Well , hardly or maybe even never . So yeah , this mainly was during youth camp last year :) Ily , especially CHAOS . <3 I'll miss you guys ! ): Anyway , so yeah . Hahaha .

#270111 .

Hello again , it's been like a really long time I've ever blogged . 2011 is passing real fast . It's like zooooooooom . January is ending soon . Feb is coming . Yey , I seriously can't wait till term 4 . I LOVE TERM 4 . Even though it's like the most stressful term but idk why I seem to enjoy it . HEHE WEIRD ME . I have been texting people a lot this month . I don't even think it's enough until like 11 feb . Hahaha , I'm happy :D . I seem to like school nowadays . It's great . Like really , wasn't looking forward to going to school for the first two weeks i guess . But now I'm really looking forward to school . HAHA . And I don't really dislike the holding school that much , even though I prefer going to original one but life's like that and nothing can be changed so yeah . 2 years in that school , I can survive this :) . Church is okay either . The split didn't really give me a great impact but I still miss those in the other cell . My cell is okay . Haha , kinda fun . I really enjoyed the first ever cell bonding/dinner . HAHAHA REALLY FUNNY . It was really a different experience from all the other cell bondings that I've had . No gossiping , just plain fun . AWESOME FUN . Hell yeah . I'm really looking forward to the next cell dinner/lunch/bonding :D . Still can't atop laughing about the racist jokes and when 3 of the guys sat the merry go round . HAHAHA I LAUGHED LIKE CRAZY . How come no one uploaded it on fb aye ? Hmm . I still can't stop laughing when i think about it . HAHA . Anyway , this week is like so damn free for me . Cause i didn't go to Bintan , so I slacked in school and at home . HEHE . Have to go back to school tmr , just for cca like wtf . I don't feel like going can . Then tmr night I'm for the prayer concert thingy . Haha yeah . My mom told me and it sounded really interesting and fun so yeah i shall go and see for myself :) . Teehee . I suddenly feel like going back to school . Haha . It sounds fun ? Okay I'm getting weird here bear that with me :) . Oh yes , I reborned my hair on Monday . FINALLY IT IS SUCCESSFUL FOR ONCE HOORAY . but my butt damn pain sia . It took me like about 6 hours of my time yknow ! Walao , so damn long cannnnn . But it was worth it . Hahaha , now i can let go of my hair ! :D . HOORAYYY . Gosh I really miss blogging . Have been missing the Internet lately . I only like tweet once in while . Which is on really random timings . Yeap , kinda addicted to twitter now a days :) . Hahaha . It's fun kkk . Ahhh so bored now . Wow I texted a long long long long long post with my iPod . Hahaha , it's so damn easy to type can . Haha . So I guess I should stop here . Kkkkkkk , until next time . :) Buhbye .

#270111 .

Hello again , it's been like a really long time I've ever blogged . 2011 is passing real fast . It's like zooooooooom . January is ending soon . Feb is coming . Yey , I seriously can't wait till term 4 . I LOVE TERM 4 . Even though it's like the most stressful term but idk why I seem to enjoy it . HEHE WEIRD ME . I have been texting people a lot this month . I don't even think it's enough until like 11 feb . Hahaha , I'm happy :D . I seem to like school nowadays . It's great . Like really , wasn't looking forward to going to school for the first two weeks i guess . But now I'm really looking forward to school . HAHA . And I don't really dislike the holding school that much , even though I prefer going to original one but life's like that and nothing can be changed so yeah . 2 years in that school , I can survive this :) . Church is okay either . The split didn't really give me a great impact but I still miss those in the other cell . My cell is okay . Haha , kinda fun . I really enjoyed the first ever cell bonding/dinner . HAHAHA REALLY FUNNY . It was really a different experience from all the other cell bondings that I've had . No gossiping , just plain fun . AWESOME FUN . Hell yeah . I'm really looking forward to the next cell dinner/lunch/bonding :D . Still can't atop laughing about the racist jokes and when 3 of the guys sat the merry go round . HAHAHA I LAUGHED LIKE CRAZY . How come no one uploaded it on fb aye ? Hmm . I still can't stop laughing when i think about it . HAHA . Anyway , this week is like so damn free for me . Cause i didn't go to Bintan , so I slacked in school and at home . HEHE . Have to go back to school tmr , just for cca like wtf . I don't feel like going can . Then tmr night I'm for the prayer concert thingy . Haha yeah . My mom told me and it sounded really interesting and fun so yeah i shall go and see for myself :) . Teehee . I suddenly feel like going back to school . Haha . It sounds fun ? Okay I'm getting weird here bear that with me :) . Oh yes , I reborned my hair on Monday . FINALLY IT IS SUCCESSFUL FOR ONCE HOORAY . but my butt damn pain sia . It took me like about 6 hours of my time yknow ! Walao , so damn long cannnnn . But it was worth it . Hahaha , now i can let go of my hair ! :D . HOORAYYY . Gosh I really miss blogging . Have been missing the Internet lately . I only like tweet once in while . Which is on really random timings . Yeap , kinda addicted to twitter now a days :) . Hahaha . It's fun kkk . Ahhh so bored now . Wow I texted a long long long long long post with my iPod . Hahaha , it's so damn easy to type can . Haha . So I guess I should stop here . Kkkkkkk , until next time . :) Buhbye .

#311210 .

TODAY IS THE LAST DAY OF 2010 . Gosh , it's really fast . School starts , cell combine . Many changes in my life that I have to adapt to . Wow . Anyway , I shall spend today well . I shall flood fb with all our cell pictures :) . Hehehe . But not too much aye . So going back to church later to join the rest . Just realized that tmr is a Saturday . Maybe be combining tmr , who knows aye . ): actually I don't really mind but it's just that I don't want the rest of chaos to be in a different cell ): . IT MAKES ME SAD . APPARENTLY IT MAKES EVERYONE SAD . Ugh , I dread talking about it . Oh well . Counting down for the new year later . Bye loves . xx

#301210 .

Helloooooo , Ahaha . Imma still in bed aye . Had a really fun time yesterday with chaos ! :) I totally enjoyed myself a lot ! Hahaha , chaos bean . That was damn funneh . Okay sadly I didn't manage to sleep over cause I was sick . Gash it's so annoying . But oh well ): . Then I reached church at about 5 plus ? Then played games , took pictures . Yeah , went out for dinner . Took a train . Me and Miley were talking about barny and whatever . So yeah Beatrice wanted to know about it . So when we reached , we bought out food for dinner and Miley told Beatrice our secrets to keep her updated . Hehehe . Then yeah , the suck people ate porrige , which tasted really good :) . Then we ate finish , slacked and Marilyn came for dinner . Yey , she's finally here ! Haha , so yeah after she ate we went to ntuc to buy food , snacks and stuff . After that we headed back to church . Back in church , Marilyn went to shower and all of us were slacking . Then Beatrice told us the we owed her something , which is the fruit of the spirit thing . So we wrote and discussed and everything . Then we started the performance :D . Hehehe . Then we sang and later played the video . AND WE REVEALED THE CHAOS SECRET GAKAKAKAKA . It was really awesome ! :) but sadly I had to go so yeah . But it was all worth it :) . Yup , okay bye .

Hello world , I'm back from youth camp ! (: man it's freaking awesome ! Heeeee , I really enjoyed myself alot . Along with all my church friends (: man we had loads of fun . Haha , now it's over . How I wish I can go back in time and rewind it back to the start of camp (; Hahaha , it will be damn cool ! Sian , just came out of the bath . I FEEL SO FRESHHH . Woots . Okay i will blog everything that happened during camp when I use the computer (: okay bye ! Shall watch tv now .

#021210 .

Hello ! HAHAHA , okay kinda high now :) . Finally it's the month of December ! I love December ! HAHA . right , Hmpt . I'm so annoyed with the stupid Cathay -.- yesterday got show Harry potter , today don't have . WHAT IS THIS SIAL ?! Tsk , cheat my feelings . Anyway , going to gv instead (: OMG TMR IS LIKE CAMP ! YEY I CAN'T WAIT . Okay I shall go wash up and stuff . Going out catch a movie (: HARRY POTTER ! dead blog in a way cause there are no people reading it but who cares . Bye (: btw , it's officially one year and one day (: awesome :D

#291110 .

Whoo , it's like the second last day of the month . 4 more day to camp ! (: Yey . Okay I'm like damn bores now so yeah . Hmmm . Cca is like omg sucks . Got like physical . Stupid man ughhhhh . Sian , but at least got something to train for napfa :p ahahaha . Bye tuition starting soon (:

Okay Hellooooo again ! Hahah . It's like 12.12 am right now lol . Damn bored and u don't feel like sleeping (: lol . Anyway , have tuition at 9am later . Damn . And then piano at 1pm . And church at 4pm . And head to Pooja's house at 7pm . Hectic . Real hectic . Camp is like next week ! It's been a year and 1 day since last year's camp which was absolutely awesome and I think this year's camp will be even more awesome ! (: hahaha . So , I guess I should go and sleep now . Later cannot wake up then i die and be sleepy for the rest of the day ! And thats not good ! ): lol . Bye ! :D