16 November 2011.

Everything I could never tell you;

It's been a long time since i ever blogged about anything, about my life, what I've been going through. Nothing special really. It's been the same old, confused me. Never thought that forgetting about you will be easy. It's just so hard. I will never ever know what you are thinking. Not even last time, now, or even in the future. What is this world becoming anyway? Everything is just getting so confusing and complicated. I really wish everything will just go back to what it was before, but i know that it will never ever happen. All i can just do is just wait and just hope that everything will be alright, even if it doesn't seem like it will. I do read your texts once in awhile. Sometimes, I even cry myself to sleep. I missed everything that we had. I miss texting you. I miss talking to you. I miss every single week, day hour, minute, second talking to you, seeing you, texting you. How i wish i can text you once again. But nah, that will never happen. I miss you, i really do. It's been almost half a year since we actually had a real conversation. Please text me soon?

20th October 2011.

Hello once again. Long time since I have blogged! Hehehe. I had a really enjoyable birthday yesterday! :) Whole clique went to sentosa! :D. Whooooooo, it was a blast. Played with the sand, games, ran around like crazy, Indian poker practically everything with was fun! Tiffy gave me a stitch for my birthday! Oh yeay :) Stitch is cool shit man heheh. Then the rest got me a really cool... LARVA LAMP! Omg it must have cost like a bomb! It's looks really pretty when it's lighted up and all the chemical stuffs and how it blooped up! Oh I am so damn happy! :) Next time all of us should save money and go to USS! :)

Okay, hi. Woah for not using the computer for like 931287309127397937 years. No actually hehe. So life without you; It was amazinglyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy OKAY. Omg can't believe i typed that out. IT WAS REALLY OKAY. LIKE SERIOUSLY. Well, at first i thought that i won't get used to a single shit, but i started to realise that i didn't of you as often as before (even though im kinda like thinking of you as i type this out heh), which is kinda good i think. I really do miss you though, :/. I see that you're online right now. I know you won't see this but oh well, just wanted to wish you good luck for your common test (: All the best. I really missed the times in the first semester. I did take some moment for granted, but it's all too late already. Oh well, listening to in your arms by the maine! <3 It's a really nice song! Okay, shall go do some editing to my blog template now! It's been a long time since i've edited it!

Finally back to blogging after a few months! Wow, time passes really quickly and it's officially term 3 now. So life hasn't been good for me now. It's even worse than expected.Ever since i came back from church camp, everything hasn't been going like it used to be. Why? I found out during church camp that you used to like me. USED TO. That's might be the happiest thing to knowthat your crush liked you back but it's used to, not still do. Heart breaking issue i swear. Devasated after reading her messages. I was happy at fist but when i realise that he didn't anymore, i really didn't know what to say. I was totally lost for words. At first i didn't believe it. but then when i came back to Singapore, everything started to change. The goodnight texts were gone. The swet.conversations were all gone. If only she told me earlier that you liked me back then. I didn't really treasure the moment that i had texting you. Now, we hardly text. Well actually, we don't. I think about every now and then, thinking to myself: "Why must this happen to me?" Life is just so unfair. I just got to accept the fact that i'm not.that important to you like before. And now i don't even know whether i still like you or not. I have been trying to let go of you but i just can't. It is so very hard. You just don't know how much i think about you everyday. I miss the way we used to be. i miss every single moment we had texting each other day after day. People tell me to let go of you, but they obviously don't know how much i've tried to. I just got to move on with life. People change and feelings change. I just got to learn to accept that and everything will be alright i guess. I just want to thank you for being an important person in my life and i will never foget evey moment i had with you.

Hey. Woah, it's been a really long time since I've blogged. It's the year 2011.  My life is not happening  like i want it to. Sec 3 is a really a tough year for me. So many subjects and cca to cope with. SYF just passed like a month ago. We achieved a GWH. I never thought that we will even have a chance to get GWH. Oh well, seniors left to prepare for o levels. I really wonder how we can manage to survive without them. Is it even possible? 
Now, about church. Yes, let's just face it. I like you, ALOT. Well, more than you can ever imagine or think of. I've been texting you for like half a year maybe? Sigh, i really want to know what i am in your perspective. It never came across my mind that I'll end up texting for such a long time now. You're always giving me false hopes, and worst of all, awkward conversations. I think we've talked about everything that we can possibly think of talking about. I love the way you say goodnight to me almost everyday. I love it when it is obvious that you are showing your concern for me. I save all my messages from you, but deleted some one word replies. Please don't do that. It's really hard for me to start the conversation. I wish that you'll like me back. I really hope that you will. It's been 1 year and 4 months that I've liked you already. Sigh. How i wish, i really wish. So please do come true. I love it when you give me unexpected texts. I love it when you cheer me up when i'm feeling down, even though i can tell that you don't really know how to cheer me up, but i know that you're trying. I'm really sorry for always thinking that you're the only person that i can only look up to. I'm so sorry. Not that i don't, but i think that i'm getting too dependent on you. Well, this is my personal thought so yeah. Every time when i'm texting you, i will always have the feeling that in some way or another, i'm annoying you. Well, every girl will think that way. It is just so awkward when i see you face to face. Not sure if it's because i'm from a girls school that's why i feel this way, but yeah. I often see you peeping at me sometimes. It's just awkward when we make eye contact. I don't want it to be so awkward anymore. It's just not right. 
She told me that she have the feeling that you like someone. I trust her fully because she has been childhood friends with you. And this makes me have the assurance that she's right about what you are feeling. I cried like a mad shit that day, May 15, Sunday. How could i ever forget? I didn't even make sure that it's true. It felt as if i have been knocked down by a bus repeatedly. It just hurts so very much. Cell bonding is coming up next. I hope that everything will turn out fine. No other problems or anything awkward. I really can't wait for you to give me the sticky. Sigh, i really love you that (: 
Anyway, even you're not gonna be seeing this, i want to tell you that you've been one of my greatest friends  that I've ever had. Even if we don;t know about our future, i hope we'll still be great friends. Thank you in any way i can possibly thank you for (:  
Have great year ahead! (:

It's really been a long time since I have last blogged. It's the second last week of May. I got back most of my results today and yesterday. Screwed everything up. God dammit, depression really. 2011 sucks to the core. Idk, everything i expect it to be is not turning out the way i want it to be. Even now, you're ignoring me, you go offline. Like what man. FML MAN, TOTALLY. Now you're back online, are you like avoiding me or something? UGH I HATE LIFE NOW. I'll most prolly retain or something. Fuck man, like seriously. School sucks. No mood for anything.

Ily . :)

Suppp . TEEHEE . It's the second day of cny ! :) Got a lot of money the past few days :D . Hooray :) . Gakakakaka . But it was super tiring and boring though . Was texting the entire time . Haha . Then my mom scolded me . But who cares . Ahaha . So anyway , I got a lot of money . I didn't really count but it should be above 500 bucks ? Idk shall go count soon :) . Today was uhhhh okay ? Had piano . Wheeeeee . I got full marks for one paper :D . Damn happy . Haha :) . Then went to church for duty . Aloysius didn't come . Idk why , so I had to duty on my own with Beatrice . Thank god Jillian was doing lightings , if not I'll be like some loner . AGAIN and that sucks . So Beatrice did the songs and I did the PowerPoint slides . Yeaaap . Then went for cell . Makan like mad . There were so much food . Haha . Oh yes , I just remembered that I left my lays there . HAHA I rushed off and forgot to take . Oops . Who cares , someone must have kept it for next week i guess :) . That kind soul . HAHA okay that sounded weird . Nvm . Haha . So yeah left at 6.30 sharp . Left for my grandma's house for dinner . And then friend's house which I ended up not going -.- . So yeah sucks luh walao eh . I wanna watch my drama series kkkkkkkkk . Walao eh . Tsk . I don't care I'm going there next weekkkk . WHOOHOO . Whatever lol . Uhhh , I'm waiting for smses to come in again . Haha , bored much aye :) . Teehee . YEY TMR IS SUNDAY AND I FINALLY DON'T HAVE TO GO TO SINGPOST YEY YEY YEY . That horribly boring ass place . HAHA oops . Okay bye . Haha .